I am so cool people need to read about me!!!!

So after much pondering I came to the conclusion that I am so interesting and amazing that I need to Blog people need to know about me and what happens to me so here we go I am officially a blogger I blog blogging is what I will be know for (scrap-booking is next I need a large library full of photo books tastefully put together tastefully as a memorial to the great adventure that is Richard.)

Ok I thought I would start by telling the world of one of my many amazing adventures. I took a poll and it was voted that the most amazing thing to happen to me this century was when I was attacked by a Cougar. Yes you read correctly I am a Cougar attack survivor now don't get me wrong I am telling this story to make everybody thing I am so amazing I want to tell this as a cautionary tale the fact that everyone who reads will understand my amazingness is an added bonus. Well it was a cool August morning I was attempting my 67th summit of Mount Kilimanjaro for charity when I saw it I was face to face with a Cougar. Now the first gut reaction was to kill the Cougar with my bare hands but as I always say a first responder is only as good as his/her last training. Luckily I am well trained in many many thing I recalled my Cougar attack training class I took while base jumping in the mountainous regions of tibet with a highly respected Sherpa. I remembered the best thing to do when faced with the imminent danger of a Cougar attack is 1. don't panic 2. make yourself look bigger than you are 3. Shoot dos pistoles in the air. I did just that experts look back at this occurrence and analyze the reason the Cougar attacked was the fact the Dos Pistoles I had were two Ladies Derringers given to me by Father Cruz while Heli skiing in remote areas of South America. Yes the derringers were beautiful with Our Lady of Guadeloupe encrusted on the handles with blood free diamonds. But the derringers packed to little of a punch to thwart the attacks of said Cougars. The Cougar pounced with all the fury she could muster. I returned attack with a swift uppercut to the jaw, she returned by clawing my face leaving what the my good friend The Monkआचार्य विद्यासागर refers to as my Indiana Jones Scar. Luckily I had my Bowie knife given to me by David Bowie I thrust it into the bosom of the Cougar the cougar and shared tears together while she died in my arms. That Day I gained a lot of respect for Demi Moore and the cast of the famed TV show Cougar Town. As the Cougar died in my arms her last words were "I am 56" she didnt look a day older than 42.